FROM THE DESK OF...
Hello New Zealand
Posted by James Acaster On the 3rd April 2014
Hello New Zealand
I just ate a raspberry and white chocolate pie. I like puddings. I have spent most of my life eating puddings and the rest of my life wishing they weren't so bad for you so I could eat more puddings.
Once when moving out of a flat and packing all my belongings into boxes I ate a whole jar of salted caramel sauce because I didn't want to leave it behind for my flatmate to enjoy without me. I didn't even feel sick after.
I have to limit myself to a tub of Ben and Jerry's a week. I once ate a tub of Ben and Jerry's while looking on the Ben and Jerry's website at all the American flavours of Ben and Jerry's that are unavailable in the UK and imagining what they tasted like. Yes, like porn.
Anything with peanut butter in it lures me in, I think I am similar to mice and deer in this respect. It is no surprise to me that many animals are lured in by peanut butter as anything is improved by the addition of peanut butter, even your own demise at the hands of a hunter.
I once watched a cooking show where a chef made a winter wonderland themed dessert for a table of dinner guests, the dessert was a snowy mountain covered in snowy trees and people skiing down the mountain, all of which was made of different puddings. The ski slopes were made out of baked Alaska and there was a shot of one of the dinner guests biting into the baked Alaska and you could see how perfect the meringue was and how soft the ice cream was inside. I think about that image every day.
There is a comic in England called Patch Hyde who is also the UK's number champion fudge maker. He invented mojito fudge. I was one of the first people to try it. It is now my favourite food. Not just my favourite dessert - my favourite food. My favourite food is mojito fudge. Patch works in a fudge shop in Edinburgh during the Edinburgh festival and as we are buds he gives me free fudge. This is very dangerous for me. I have to plan different routes through the city that don't go via the fudge shop or I would eat mojito fudge three meals a day.
That's all from me, I'm going to eat some gingerbread cupcakes with lemon frosting now.